Class #35: Friends - It's Not A Cat!

Vocabulary

Shaun Paul Cassidy (born September 27, 1958) is an American television producer/creator, screenwriter, and former singer-actor. He is the eldest son of singer-actress Shirley Jones and singer-actor Jack Cassidy. His older half-brother is singer-actor David Cassidy.

He is known for starring in the television series The Hardy Boys Mysteries (1977–79) and Breaking Away (1980–81), as well as having several hit records in the 1970s. In the 1980s, he had a three-month stint on the daytime soap General Hospital and acted onBroadway and in the West End of London. Since the mid-1990s, Cassidy has worked exclusively as a writer/producer in television, creating a number of television series, including American Gothic, Roar (with Heath Ledger in his American debut), and Invasion.

SHOESTRING

LITTER BOX

Rachel: Hey, you guys…
Joey: Hey!
Rachel: Is Monica here?
Joey and Ross: No.
Rachel: All right listen umm, I just bought something I'm not sure she's gonna like it, and it's gonna seem a little crazy, but this is something that I wanted since I was a little girl.
Ross: You bought Shawn Cassidy!
Rachel: Noo! I wish! Okay, you ready?
Joey and Ross: Yeah!
Rachel: Okay! Check it out!
Ross: What-what is it?!
Joey: What the hell is that?!!
Rachel: It's a, it's a cat!
Joey: That, is not a cat!
Rachel: Yes it is!
Ross: Why is it inside out?!
Rachel: Excuse me! But this is a purebred, show-quality Sphinx cat!
Ross: How much did you pay for that?
Rachel: Well, it was a little extravagant, but I a pretty good deal.
Ross: Yeah? How much?
Rachel: A thousand bucks.
Ross: ON A CAT??!!!!
Joey: It's not a cat!
Rachel: All right listen ball boys! My grandmother had one of these when I was a little girl and it was the sweetest thing! I mean it was so cute, it would sit in my lap and purr all day long, and I would drag a shoestring on the ground and he would chase it!
Ross: Free cats do that too, y'know. 
Joey: It's not a cat!
Rachel: Ugh! Look you guys, I'm really excited about this! Okay? I don't care what you think! I'm gonna go set up a little litter box for Mrs. Whiskerson. Well, what am I gonna call her? Fluffy?!

Ross: Hey Rach!
Rachel: Hey.
Ross: Check it out! Almost 3 hours without droppin' it!
Rachel: Oh, wow! Congratulations, that's quite a waste of time.
Monica: Rach?
Rachel: Yeah?
Monica: You have scratches all over you, what happened? 
Rachel: Well, it's my cat.
Monica: What?!
Rachel: Oh yeah, I got a cat.
Monica: I don't want a cat!
Joey: Oh, don't worry, it's not a cat.
Ross: Yeah.
Rachel: You guys this cat is nothing like my grandmother's cat. I mean, it's not sweet, it's not cute, I even dragged that little string on the ground, and it just flipped out and scratched the hell out of me. And I swear, I know this sounds crazy, but every time this cat hisses at me I know it's saying, "Rachel!"
Ross: Doesn't sound as crazy as paying a thousand dollars for a cat.
Monica: What?! You paid a thousand dollars for a cat when you owe me 300!!
Rachel: Well, I was gonna let you play with it.

Joey: Don't worry you guys, it's not a cat!
Monica: Oh my—Oh good God!
Rachel: I give up you guys, I don't know what I'm going to do with this thing!
Ross: Baking it didn't help, huh?
Monica: So, why don't you just take it back to where you got it?
Rachel: I tried! They won't take her back.
Chandler: Maybe that's because she's a minion of the anti-Christ.
Monica: Rach, why won't they take it back?
Rachel: Well, they said would but they would only give me store credit. I mean, what am I going to do, get a thousand regular cats?
Monica: Look, if you want you can keep it at our place until you find out what to do with it.
Rachel: No Mon that's not the point. I'm out a thousand dollars, I'm all scratched up, and I'm stuck with this stupid cat that looks like a hand! 

Phoebe: Oh! I'm sorry, oven mitts really freak me out.

Rachel: Show cat! Quality show cat! Show cat! 
Woman No. 1: Oh my God! What's wrong with your baby?!
Rachel: It's not a baby! It's a cat!
Woman No. 1: Eew! It's creepy looking!
Rachel: Oh no! No! It's actually—it's very sweet. It's very sweet. Look! Yeah, do you want it?
Woman No. 1: No, I hate cats.
Rachel: Well, so then what are you doing to me? Okay? Just get out of here! All right? Move on!
Woman No. 2: Wow! What an unusual cat!
Rachel: Yes! Thank you! Exactly! You want it?
Woman No. 2: Maybe. I was thinking about getting a cat, I was just going to go to the shelter but… Okay, why not?
Rachel: Oh, terrific! That'll be $2,000.
Woman No. 2: What?!
Rachel: Okay, a thousand.
Woman No. 2: I thought you wanted to adopt your cat.
Rachel: Well, I do, but you're just gonna have to actually look at this as more of an investment than a cat.
Woman No. 2: Okay, yeah, I just wanted a cat.
Rachel: Obviously you know how to haggle, so I'm not gonna try and take you on. Okay? So $800 and I don't call the cops because you're robbing me blind! Blind! Just take cat, leave the money, and run away! Run away! Damnit! Cat, can't you at least smile or something?! Okay, did anybody just hear that? Anybody?

Monica: Rachel! What is your cat doing in one of my bowls!
Rachel: It's not! I'm defrosting a chicken. Oh, I uh sold Mrs. Whiskerson.
Ross: Oh, thank God!
Joey: Did you get your money back?
Rachel: Yeah, 15 hundred dollars.
Monica: Wow! You made a profit!
Gunther: I just came for the red-velvet pillow.
Rachel: Oh yeah, there you go. 
Gunther: Thanks Rachel. And-and don't forget you-you can come visit her anytime you want.
Rachel: Oh good, great! I'll-I'll keep that in mind. 
Gunther: Hey! So what is this? Some kind of snake or something?

Grammar

IMPORTANT: The order of adjectives before a noun IS NOT FIXED.

This chart is only offered as a guide and is the order that is preferred.

You may see or hear slight variations of the order of adjectives in real life though what appears in the chart above is order that is expected the most.

Let's look at each type of adjective in more detail (with examples)…

Types of Adjectives

Before the adjectives you will normally have the Determiner.

Determiner: The determiner tells us if the noun is singular or plural, definite or indefinite

• a, an, the, my, your, four, those, some etc

And then we have the adjectives that refer to…

Opinion: Explains what we think about something. This is usually our opinion, attitude or observations. These adjectives almost always come before all other adjectives.

• beautiful, boring, stupid, delicious, useful, lovely, comfortable

Size: Tells us how big or small something is.

• big, small, tall, huge, tiny

Shape / Weight / Length: Tells about the shape of something or how long or short it is. It can also refer to the weight of someone or something.

• round, square, circular, skinny, fat, heavy, straight, long, short,

Condition: Tells us the general condition or state of something

• broken, cold, hot, wet, hungry, rich, easy, difficult, dirty

Age: Tells us how old someone or something is.

• old, young, new, ancient, antique

Colour: The colour or approximate colour of something.

• green, white, blue, reddish, purple

Pattern: The pattern or design of something.

• striped, spotted, checked, flowery

Origin: Tells us where something is from.

• American, British, Italian, eastern, Australian, Chilean

Material: What is the thing made of or constructed of?

• gold, wooden, silk, paper, synthetic, cotton, woollen

Purpose/Qualifier/Use: What is it for? These adjectives often end in –ing.

• sleeping (bag), gardening (gloves), shopping (bag), wedding (dress)

If you look at the examples above, you can ask… what are the gloves used for? (gardening) What is the bag used for? (shopping)

And after these we adjectives we have the…

Noun: The person or thing that is being described

Examples of the order of adjectives before a noun

Something to have in mind is that it does not sound natural using three or more adjectives in the same sentence and it is very rare to hear four adjectives together before a noun.

• A big fat dog.
• An interesting old Indian rug.
• A striped silk shirt
• Some comfortable black sleeping bags
• Four small round wooden tables
• Those funny little old men

Past habit – used to/would/past simple

When we talk about things that happened in the past but don’t happen anymore we can do it in different ways.

Used to

• We used to live in New York when I was a kid.
• There didn’t use to be a petrol station there. When was it built?

We can use ‘used to’ to talk about past states ….

• I used to go swimming every Thursday when I was at school.
• I used to smoke but I gave up a few years ago.

… or we can use ‘used to’ to talk about repeated past actions

Remember that ‘used to’ is only for past states/actions that don’t happen now – we can’t use it for things that still happen now. Also, ‘used to + infinitive’ should not be confused with ‘be/get used to + ‘ing’ form’ – this is covered in a separate section.

Would

• Every Saturday I would go on a long bike ride.
• My teachers would always say “Sit down and shut up!”

We can use ‘would’ to talk about repeated past actions.

Often either ‘would’ or ‘used to’ is possible. Both of these sentences are possible.

• Every Saturday, I would go on a long bike ride.
• Every Saturday I used to go on a long bike ride.

However, only ‘used to’ is possible when we talk about past states.

• We used to live in New York when I was a kid.
• We would live in New York when I was a kid.

Past simple

• We went/used to go/would go to the same beach every summer.

We can use the past simple in the same way as ‘used to’ and ‘would’ to talk about repeated past actions.

• I had/used to have a dog called Charlie.

We can also use the past simple for past states.

• I went to Egypt in 1988.

However, if something happened only once we can’t use ‘used to’ or ‘would’ – we must use the past simple.

Comparison of Equality: As... as

If two things are equal in some way, we can use a comparison with as … as …. The comparisons may involve adjectives (adj) or adverbs (adv) after the first as, and noun phrases (np) or clauses after the second as:

He’s grown so much. He’s as tall as his father now. (adj + noun phrase)

The team is still as good as it was five years ago. (adj + clause)

The second game didn’t go as well as the first one. (adv + noun phrase)

The company is not performing as successfully as it did when Arthur Carling was the President. (adv + clause)

When the second part of the comparison is a clause, the clause is often a reduced clause (a clause with ellipsis) or one with a substitute verb do or a modal verb:

If the sales figures are as bad as predicted, the company will probably go bankrupt.(…as bad as economists have predicted…)

I worked as hard as I had ever done in my life for my final exam. (…as hard as I had ever worked in my life …)

We tried as hard as we could.

WILL NOT / WON'T
Will not or won't expresses the idea of being unwilling to do something or being determined not to do something (refusal).
PRESENT
The judges won't vote for me.
The head judge won't let me sing another song.
I won't leave the stage! I will not leave the stage! (emphasis on "not")
PAST
The judges wouldn't vote for me.
They wouldn't let me sing another song.
I wouldn't leave the stage.

Similar meanings may be expressed with be opposed to, be against, disapprove of, would rather not, decline (unwilling), refuse, give a firm "no", or say "over my dead body".

The judges are unwilling / reluctant to vote for me.

The head judge is unwilling / refuses to let me sing another song.

I refuse to leave the stage!

The judges were unwilling / refused to vote for me.

The judges were unwilling / refused to let me sing another song.

I was unwilling / refused to leave the stage!